Metallurgists and ....
Metallurgists and ....

Metallurgists have to be obsessed with metals. Right ? Right ! They take their interest in metals to all spheres of their life. When two Metallurgists go to a restaurant for dinner they order "one plate of Martensite and another of Pearlite"! And they drink it down with "brine solution" !
So why not compile such anecdotes about Metallurgists ? These should make interesting reading and can be in the form of poems, jokes, anecdotes etc. Contributions from fellow Metallurgists and their friends would be welcome. Just Email your Contributions to be included in this page.

Metals and Poems

Cold Iron
By Rudyard Kipling
GOLD is for the mistress - silver for the maid" -
         Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade! "
" Good! " said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
         But Iron - Cold Iron - is master of them all."
So he made rebellion 'gainst the King his liege,
         Camped before his citadel and summoned it to siege.
" Nay! " said the cannoneer on the castle wall,
         " But Iron - Cold Iron - shall be master of you all! "

Woe for the Baron and his knights so strong,
         When the cruel cannon-balls laid 'em all along;
He was taken prisoner, he was cast in thrall,
         And Iron - Cold Iron - was master of it all.

Yet his King spake kindly (ah, how kind a Lord!)
         " What if I release thee now and give thee back thy sword? "
" Nay! " said the Baron, " mock not at my fall,
         For Iron - Cold Iron - is master of men all."

" Tears are for the craven, prayers are for the clown
         Halters for the silly neck that cannot keep a crown."
" As my loss is grievous, So my hope is small,
         For Iron - Cold Iron - must be master of men all! "

Yet his King made answer (few such Kings there be!)
         " Here is Bread and here is Wine - sit and sup with me.
Eat and drink in Mary's Name, the whiles I do recall
         How Iron - Cold Iron - can be master of men all."

He took the Wine and blessed it. He blessed and brake the Bread
         With His own Hands He served Them, and presently He said:
" See! These Hands they pierced with nails, outside My city wall,
         Show Iron - Cold Iron - to be master of men all. "

" Wounds are for the desperate, blows are for the strong.
         Balm and oil for weary hearts all cut and bruised with wrong.
I forgive thy treason - I redeem thy fall
         For Iron Cold Iron - must be master of men all! "

'Crowns are for the valiant - sceptres for the bold!
         Thrones and Powers for mighty men who dare to take and hold!'
" Nay! " said the Baron, kneeling in his hall,
         " But Iron - Cold Iron - is master of men all!
Iron out of Calvary is master of men all! "

Poems in other languages
There is this one that I remember about loha(Iron) in Hindi.

Garam loha peet, thanda peetane ko waqt bahutera pada hai

---- Will someone give me the full poem and the name of the poet ?

Poems in other languages
There has to at least one Hiku, in Japanese, though I never came across one.
Till the time we have a Hiku on metals, this one will have to do:

Furu ikhe ya
Khawazu tobi komu
Mizu no otoh

Metallurgists and Anecdotes

One handed Metallurgist
It has been doing rounds for a long time
There was a big ad in a newspaper by a famous company for a Metallurgist. It asked Metallurgists with only one hand to apply. Obviously there was no application and after waiting for a long time the HRD chief gathered enough courage and asked the big boss the obvious question. "I need a Metallurgist who can tell me exactly what happens with metals. All they say is 'on one hand, this could have happened and on the other....' !"

We Metallurgists seem to have come a long way from that time. Now we have learnt to say
- The cause of stress corrosion cracking could be slip dissolution, on the other hand it could be hydrogen ... !

Cleanliness crazy

Have you heard of this Corrosion engineering student who suddenly became cleanliness crazy ? His wife noticed that every week he thoroughly cleaned all the metallic items in the house, especially the ceiling fans. He made sure that there was no dust on any of the metallic components. She was happy and would have been more happy if he cleaned all the house with that regularity. She had to do all the other cleaning. One day while arranging his books, she found the reason for the sudden craze of her husband for cleaning the metallic components. The latest book he had been reading was -" Under deposit corrosion can cause catastrophic failures" !

Do you know other jokes/interesting anecdotes connected with Metallurgits or metals ?

Why not share with us here ?

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